Ode to my Family
by livie2k6
Summary: AH/AU Bella is a single mother, struggling to provide for herself and her son. When she sees his father for the first time in 6 years, can she get him to own up to his mistakes? Or at times, is Edward Cullen every bit as stubborn as Bella.
1. Chapter 1

**Ode to my Family, Chapter 1**

It was exactly 6 years ago today that I, a heavily pregnant Bella Swan, walked out on my boyfriend, Edward Cullen.

It had started off as a harmless summer fling, something I could forget about as soon as college started up again. But that wasn't what he wanted. Just over a year later, I was struggling to heave my suitcase down the sidewalk, alone.

Our relationship had been anything but perfect. One night stands shouldn't last that long, there was no base, no foundation that we both shared. Edward made all our decisions, and I, up until that evening, had been terrified to say otherwise.

But to me now, this date held another significance. One much more important, for today was my son, Antony's, sixth birthday.

Ever since that night, six years ago-when my waters had broken as I was lugging my few belongings down a deserted street- this tiny, miniature me has been the center of my universe. I was delighted with the fact he looked nothing like his father.

I sat across our tiny kitchen table from him now, watching as he tried to shove pancake after pancake into his mouth. His desperate attempt to wolf down his breakfast at lightening speed was not fairing so well. Antony knew the rules; no opening presents until after breakfast.

"Mommy, I'm finished now." He tried to say, but the sheer amount of pancake mush in his mouth caused it to be nothing more than an incoherent mumble.

"Anty, baby. What has mommy told you, don't talk with food in your mouth, its not a pretty sight." I told him as I slowly rose from the table taking his plate and placing it in the washing up bowl.

"Presents!" He exclaimed, running into our even smaller sitting room where his few birthday presents lay in a stack on the floor.

I really hope he likes them, most of what he had asked for was rather expensive, I had been living on 1 meal a day for almost two months in order to afford them. Even with this, I had only managed to scrape together enough money for 3 of the presents,Antony had asked for. I hated being the typical, single teenage mom. Living off the crappy wage that came with working as a full time shelf stacker at Wal-mart. There were only so many job available these days to a college drop out. Crappy hours and minimum wage were my only options. And I took them, because there was nothing else.

The wonderful so if ripping wrapping paper brought me from my guilty thoughts.

"Mommy, you got me the Ben Action figure!" He said as he cradled the small plastic case, before setting it on his lap and reaching for the next present.

"A Ben 10 Kevin Cruiser! Thanks mom." He said with the hugest smile on his adorable face.

Before I had time to blink the next present was open.

"A ultimate omnitrix! This is soo cool, Tyler's gonna be really jealous mom! That means that I know what this one is." Antony said as he pulled his last, and biggest present towards him. I bit my lip, hard. I knew what he thought it was, and it wasn't that at all. It was time like this that I felt a failure as a mother.

A disappointed sigh followed the sound of paper tearing. It wasn't the fancy, colorful box of the branded toy he had been hoping for. It was instead, a plain storage box with a fragile sticker on it.

"Aren't you gonna open it sweetie?" I said, I lump forming in the back of my throat. _Why was I such a terrible mother, I couldn't even afford to give my son a proper birthday._

"What is it momma?" Antony asked me as he tipped the many white pieces of wood onto the carpet.

"Well, this is something very special, it was mommy's when she was a little girl. And she finally got Charlie to send it too her. I'm sorry its not what you wanted, mommy couldn't afford to buy you anymore toys sweetie. But I promise, if you ask really nicely, Santa will bring it for you." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I gazed lovingly at the only thing keeping me alive.

"Its okay mommy." He said with puppy dog eyes and his adorable smile. "Next year you can have my pocket money to help buy presents as well."

That was it, the tears I had been holding back came colliding down my face as I sunk slowly to the floor. As I shook with rage at myself I feel a small pair of arms wrap themselves around me.

"Please don't cry mommy, its gonna be alright. Maybe Santa could help you." He whispered as he stroked my hair.

I remember when I would do this to my mother sometimes. I needed to be stronger, for Antony. He had nobody else. No one. I was all this child had got as far as a parent/guardian went. I couldn't let him see me like this, I shouldn't. _Stop crying Bella _I told myself _Stop it right now. _

I obliged, but it took me a while.

Once I had recovered, I pulled Antony onto my lap.

"Well baby. This chair isn't gonna build itself. You wanna help?" I smiled at him, trying to wipe away all traces of tears from my face.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed running over to the box. "But you gotta do the heavy stuff."

I just stared at him for a second, glad he was still innocent enough not to know how else that sentence could be interpreted.

Two hours, a box of screws and 4 ice-pops later, the chair was finally assembled. Antony scrambled onto it.

"What do we do with it now mommy?" He asked me as he sat on his knees, the chair rocking forwards and backwards at an alarming speed.

"Well, now we put it in your room, and go get some lunch. Okay? " I said with a small smile on my face.

"Yay. Can we go to McDonald's, please?" Antony looked up at me, his eyes glistening with excitement.

We were broke, there was no denying that, but it was his birthday, and I could just get another job.

"Sure kiddo." I smiled as a ruffled his chocolate brown hair. "You wanna to the movies as well?"

His huge grin seemed to swallow his tiny face. "Yes, please mommy! I'll go get my shoes on." He ran to his room, making race car noises like only a small boy could.

I too went to get some shoes, and my bag. To say neither of them were anything fancy would be a vast understatement. But I didn't care, I'd rather spend money on my son than myself, what was wrong with that?

Our trip to the cinema seemed to last much longer than it actually was. I had never been one for kids films or fast-food, but it was Antony's birthday, and he wouldn't have wanted to watch a 'grown up film'.

After walking there and back, Antony was dead on his feet when we arrived home, his insisted he wasn't sleepy. But I knew better than to believe that. After his bath, we sat curled up on the sofa, drinking coca and watching Finding Nemo, until Antony's eyelids could stay open no longer. And he finally drifted off to sleep.

I managed to carry him to his bed without waking him. Today had been a treat for him, and for me also; but I could not deny it, if it weren't for me, it could have been so much better.

Once my baby was safely in his bed, I grabbed the pile of bills that I kept in the kitchen, and sat on the sofa, trying to work out how much longer I would be able to stay with my current position in life.

I had only 2 options. Go to each of my parents, and ask them for help. Fat chance of either of them helping me. I had been practically disowned when I told them I was pregnant, and that was obviously before I had walked out on the child's father.

The other option was one I really did not want to resort to. It would involve finding Edward, and after 6 years, I still wasn't ready for that conversation. I dont think I ever would be, no matter how much I prepared for it.


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: I dont own the rights to any of the characters featured in any of Stephenie Meyer's books.

**

* * *

**

**Ode to my Family, Chapter 2**

I awoke that morning to a eerie silence.

I was curled up on the sofa, beams of yellow sunlight were streaming through the off-white blinds. I got to my feet and wandered into the kitchen, glancing at the clock as I reached out to open the refrigerator door.

I stopped.

It was 10:30.

With lightening speed I ran into Antony's room and began shaking him awake.

"Anty, babes, wake up. You're late for school!"

He pulled himself slowly out of bed, his eyes slowly fluttered open. "What is it mommy?" he mumbled.

"We've slept in late sweetie, you gotta go get dressed. Now."

He pulled himself out of bed and ran to his drawers. I rushed into my room, pulling my work uniform straight onto my unwashed body. There was no time to shower.

Before I had time to blink I was in the bathroom, scrubbing furiously at my teeth as I tried to drag a brush through my bed-head. I looked nowhere near perfect, but I would have to do.

"Sweetie, you done?" I called to Antony as I grabbed my purse and shoes.

"Yes mum." He replied from the kitchen where he was putting his sneakers on. I shoved mine on as well.

"You good to go?" I asked him, taking 2 apples from the fruit bowl as I did. He nodded, picked up his school bag and walked towards the apartment door.

Once we were on the street, I gave him his apple and walked him to the block where the elementary school was. "Do you need mommy to walk you into school sweetie?" I questioned him.

"No momma, I'm okay to walk from here, its only 3 buildings away!" He insisted.

"Okay baby," I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Be safe."

"Will do mommy."

I watched him as he ran the short distance down the street to his school, my mind forcing me to watch him until I was sure he was safe. As he began climbing the steps, I looked down at my watch. Crap, it was 10:55.

I turned on my heels and began to run the kilometer from Antony's school to the local Wal-Mart where I worked. There was really no point in me going really, I was nearly 3 hours late, I would be fired on the spot. _No! I have to stay positive _I told myself sternly. I forced myself to think if nothing but the pounding on my feet on the sidewalk as I 'sped' towards my destination.

2 minutes later I hit something. I fell, falling almost in slow motion onto the dirty concrete. I stood up, looking at what I had hit as I did.

The face I saw was one I really did not want to see.

I did the only thing I was accustomed to doing in such a situation.

I ran.

* * *

By the time I reached Wal-Mart it was nearing 11:30, I wasn't the fastest runner, not to mention the fall had left my terribly shaken. I silently thanked the heavens that he either hadn't followed me. Heck, he probably didn't even recognize me, thank god.

I paused for breath outside the staff entrance, I was sweaty and disheveled. But there was nothing I could do about that.

I swiped my card and opened the door as quietly as I could, and tried to sneak through it. The door shut silently behind me, and I bumped into something for the second time today.

"Morning Bella." My boss, Terry, sneered. "Not trying to sneak in here late again are you?" His eyebrows raised slightly.

"No sir...I was, Well..." I stuttered, unable to reply. _Utterly useless._

"My office, now. You pathetic excuse for an employee."

His words hit me like knives, stabbing, hacking, but telling the absolute truth, I was pathetic, Terry was right. I shuffled along after him, silent.

"Sit." He spat at me as we entered his office. I like a dog, I obeyed.

A moment passed in silence.

"Isabella, you have worked here for how long?"

"11 months." I said, counting back the months in my head.

"And in 11 months, are you aware of the number of times you have been late?" He interrogated, grabbing a file from the drawer of his grubby desk.

"No, sir." I swallowed, this wasn't going to be good.

"In 11 months you have been late a total of 138 times, including today." _138, had it really been that many?! _"This is completely unacceptable, I have no other excuse but to fire you. You will receive half of this months pay. Please leave your staff card on my desk as you leave, you have 20 minutes to clean our your locker and exit the building before you are escorted off the premises. Now please get out of my sight."

Oh my god, fired. Again.

I dropped my staff card lightly onto the desk and walked away.

_Wanker_. Was all that crossed my mind.

Cleaning out my locker took little time at all, as it involved was removing a photo of Antony and myself from the door. I was out of the building before 2 minutes was up.

Great, now what am I going to do? I pondered my possibilities as I stood solitary on the pavement for a few minutes. Before turning on my heels and heading of in the direction of home.

* * *

Phew, Chapter 2.

So, for those of you who dont know, the title is a song by the Cranberries. Good song, i recommend a listen.

Anyways, thanks to all the people who have favourited me & this story.

Extra Kudos to my reviewers: A is for Angel, Marian Hood, Jaspermakesmehappy AND catherine-moonlessnight

So, heres the deal, you guys who are reading this, drop a review, and i'l write faster. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Ode to my Family, Chapter 3**

I had spent almost 2 weeks running from interview to interview, trying to find a job. It just wasn't working. The only jobs that had hours that were suitable for me seemed to get filled before I got to the interview, even the unsuitable ones didn't feel like I was the right person for the job.

However I was getting desperate. My rent was due next week, and I couldn't afford to pay all of it.

_Maybe if I contacted Edward..._ I initially wondered.

_No! _I mentally slapped myself. I couldn't just run to him the moment my life got that tiny bit crappier. No. I would try my parents first, they might help. There was a small chance. I hoped.

I knew I shouldn't get my hopes too high.

***

I had decided to try my mother first. Not because she would be easier to ask, but because she was less likely to phone my dad immediately afterwards. Filling his head with bad thoughts towards me. No. Knowing my mother, by the time she remembered Charlie would want to know, I'd already have called him.

I approached the phone, taking a deep, shaky breath before grabbing it with trembling fingers. _She's just your Mom Bella, no need to be frightened._ I fumbled with the keys, punching the once familiar number in correctly on my 3rd attempt. _You know what they say, 3__rd__ time lucky. _

I swallowed hard as the ringing began.

"Hello." A strange voice answered. My breath caught in my throat. _Its probably one of Mom's friends_ I forced myself to think.

"Hey, it's Bella. Is Renee there?" I asked, trying to sound professional- or at least, composed.

"I'm sorry. You must have the wrong number, nobody called Renee lives here." The voice said, my throat became very dry.

"Oh, okay. Sorry to have interrupted you. Have a nice day." I said, a lump growing in my throat as the tears began to well.

The phone line went dead.

_What the fuck!? My mom moved without telling me! When? Why? I know she thinks I messed up my choices in life. But seriously, what moves without telling their only child?_

Charlie was now my only parental option, I had to persuade him to either lent me some money or, look after Antony until I could afford rent again. I didn't think a call would be enough. You can't just call someone and beg them for money. Well, not if that person is, was your loving father.

I would go back to Forks, and I would take Antony with me.

***

I still had my truck, by some strange miracle it hadn't died on me yet. In the city I didn't use it much, or at all really. The only places I had any desire to visit were all within walking distance from my apartment. As for everywhere else, there was always the bus, or the subway.

I would set off tomorrow, early in the morning. I could not go today, Antony was already at school, and I had one last interview. I wouldn't get the job, but it would not be polite of me to just not show up.

It was this thought that I had to remind myself as I left my apartment that morning.

My interview was at some huge marketing firm in one of Manhattans many high-rises. I felt like a tramp just standing outside. Everyone who passed me was wearing some kind of designer outfit, my clothes weren't exactly, expensive.

I took a very shaky breath before stepping into the lobby, it was white, modern, and the floor was unbelievably slippery. I fortunately managed to catch myself on a nearby pillar instead of landing flat on my ass. I made it to the front desk without any further stumbles.

"Hello, my name is Isabella Swan. I have an interview with a Mr. Lynnd from Human Resources." I clearly stated, I was becoming very used to telling receptionists my name and who I would be interviewed by.

She fumbled with a stack of papers on her desk. "Ah yes, Miss Swan, here you are. Your interview is on the 9th floor. If you would like to take a seat, I shall inform Mr Lynnd of your arrival."

As I turned to approach one of the chairs, I saw her pick up the phone. I looked away, sitting down before staring at the white ceiling, my fingers twiddling on my lap. I sat for almost 2 minuets before I heard a voice saying my name.

"Ms Swan?" She waved me over to the desk, I stood and slowly made my way back over to her.

"Mr Lynnd will she you now." She handed me a visitors badge. "If you'd like to head through to the elevator, somebody will meet you on the 9th floor, please deposit this badge at this desk when you leave." She turned her attention to her computer screen.

"Thank you." I said as I pinned the badge to my jacket.

As I waited for the elevator to arrive, I couldn't fail to notice the snide glances in my direction. I tried not to notice them, I needed my confidence levels to be high if I wanted this job, the pay was considerably higher than what I had been earning at Wal-Mart.

Inside said elevator was no better. Peoples eyebrows raised as their eyes glanced over my face, some smirked, and as I pushed the button for the 9th floor, I heard a definite 'What is she wearing?' coming from two women who looked no older than I was. The moment the doors pinged for my floor, I sprang through them, noticing a woman with a clipboard leaning again the wall in front of me.

"Isabella Swan?" She asked me, no doubt taking in my appearance.

"Yes, that's me." I answered her.

"If you'd like to follow me please."

She lead me past desks and offices and people, none of them looked up as I passed, they were all too busy. We stopped in front of a frosty glass door, she motioned for me to go inside. I took one, long deep breath; before stepping inside to seal my fate.

Behind a dark, wooden desk a young, yet stern looking man arose from a black leather seat.

"Ms. Swan, so nice to meet you." His hand extended across the desk. I strode across to him, grasping his hand firmly as I shook it.

"And you." I replied with a small smile.

"Strong grasp you got there, you don't often see that in a woman."

I merely smiled in response, sitting down, and waiting for the interview to begin.

The interview seemed to last forever, every time I thought Mr. Lynnd (whose first name I had learned was Brandon) was done asking questions, he whipped out another round. Nevertheless, I answered them all, truthfully, even when they started to become quite personal, even then. Because I didn't just really want this job, I really needed it. I was a strange mix of startled and relieved when Brandon finally said, "Thank you for coming over here today Ms Swan, someone will call you this evening with the results of this interview."

We shook hands once more, and I left the room as fast as I could. I think that went well, I thought to myself.

That afternoon I was late collecting Antony from school, the bus I had been planning on taking back hadn't shown up, so id been force to wait for the next one. Fortunately, the weather was surprisingly warm today, so I at least had not been shivering.

Antony was sitting on the steps outside his school, completely alone, weren't teachers supposed to wait with kids whose parents were late.

"Hey Babe" I called out to him as I stepped onto the sidewalk , he stood right up and ran towards me, I pulled him into a hug. "Sorry I'm late sweetheart, the bus didn't show up. How long you been waiting?"

I set him down on the side walk, taking his hand in mine.

"Its okay mommy, not very long. I was counting the ants, there were 22 of them!" He replied as we began to walk back home.

"22, really?!" I said back to him, smiling.

"Yes, there were!" He nodded. "I named one of them Charlie after Grandpa Charlie."

My stomach suddenly felt strangely heavy, I didn't know how Antony could talk about, and even to some degree love that grandfather he'd never met, because he'd disowned him. Maybe it was the excitement of finally meeting him, yeah, that would be it.  
All of my internal arguing had only taken a minute. "You, did. Wow. Are you excited about going to see him?" I asked. "Yes!" He squealed. "I've never been to his house before, have you mommy?"  
"Yes I have sweetheart. I used to live there when I was at high school." I replied. That had been the worst mistake of my life, at first I had been quite popular, but that soon died down; I became just another brick in the wall, at least I had managed to keep one of my friends, Angela. We still spoke now, occasionally. "You used to live there mommy, what is it like?" Antony asked me, in total awe that I knew all this stuff about the mysterious grandpa Charlie. I guess I should have told him sooner.  
"Well, your grandpa's house has 2 bedrooms, and a yard all round the house."  
"A yard really?" He asked me, his eyes twinkling with excitement.  
"Yeah." I said, fumbling through my bag, we had reach the outside of the apartment block now.  
"Do you think if I asked really nicely, grandpa Charlie would let me play in his yard?"  
I pulled my key out of my bag and shoved it into the keyhole. "I'm sure he will, if you ask really really nicely."

I followed after my son as he bounced animatedly up the 3 flights of rickety stairs that lead to our apartment, he was excited this evening, and I knew the reason why. Shrugging off my coat and shoes, I saw that I had a message on my answering machine, I pushed the button and prayed that, for once, I would have some luck.  
"Hello. I'm calling from Vision Marketing in Manhattan, I'm pleased to inform you that your application for the position of PA to the executive director has been successful. Unfortunately your boss is on holiday for the next two weeks, so you will not be needed until October 12th, at 8am. Please call us back if you have any queries. Thank you."

I stared at the phone in shock, maybe my luck was finally turning around. Finally.


	4. Chapter 4

Ode to my Family, Chapter 4

I awoke early this morning, a very rare occurrence for me at the weekend, unless it happened to be Christmas.

I had packed mine and Antony's bags the previous evening, so now all that remained for me to do was shower and make Antony breakfast. I decided to start with the latter. Being a boy, Antony was always more awake and alert in a full stomach.

I flinched as my feet made contact cold floorboards of my bedroom and I hastily shoved them into my old, scruffy slippers. Making my way through the living room and into the kitchen, I glanced at the clock on the phone, and seeing that it wasn't even half past seven yet, I curled up on the sofa and switched on the news.

Half an hour and some pointless human interest story later, I began to make breakfast. Nothing fancy, my lack of salary had never provided enough to buy expensive cooking ingredients. Today, Antony's breakfast consisted of a bowl of PriceRite brand cereal, and I, again, would be going without. After putting the cereal bowl on the kitchen table, I headed to Antony's room to wake him.

I sat at the end of his bed and tickled his feet. He squirmed around, still comatose, before slowly sitting up. "Good morning sweetie." I said as he looked around, his eyes slowly adjusting to the sunlight.

"Morning Mommy." He mumbled.

"Go get dressed baby, your cereals getting soggy." I told him before leaving his room and making my way to mine.

I grabbed today's choice of clothing from my dresser, there wasn't much choice anyway, but today owing to the fact most of my 'wearable' items were in a tiny, beaten suitcase; I pulled underwear, slacks and a black turtle neck jumper out of my dresser. and went to get a shower.

After my quick, horribly cold shower, I dressed quickly, not wanting to linger in the icy air of my apartment then went to check on Antony. He had finished his breakfast, his bowl was still on the table, and was sitting in front of the TV.

"You almost ready to go baby?" I called out, waking him from his cartoon induced trance.

"Yes mommy, I just gotta go brush my teeth." He replied.

I smiled at him. "Well, hurry up then, or mommy's gonna get on the plane without you!"

He jumped up and ran to the bathroom immediately, I turned off the TV.

Seen as both our bags were packed, I washed up Antony's cereal bowl, threw away the rest of the milk, and then walked round the apartment, unplugging all our electrical appliances so that I wouldn't get a hefty electricity bill upon my return. Once I was done, I went to brush my own teeth, and tied back my hair into a high ponytail.

"Antony sweetie, go get your coat and shoes on please." I called as I grabbed my suitcase, handbag and Antony's back pack from my bedroom floor. Meeting him by the coat hook, I tied his laces for him before shoving my arms into my own coat and putting on my shoes. I pulled our scarves, hats and gloves off the hook and put them into the bag. "Why do we need scarves mommy, its not winter yet?" Antony asked me as I opened the apartment door.

"It's a lot colder in Washington than it is here kiddo." I said as I exited, locking the door behind me.

An hour and thirty minuets later, the bus finally pulled up outside terminal 5 of JFK airport. During the trip, the number of butterflies in my stomach had increased tenfold, by the time our flight landed in Seattle this afternoon, I'd probably be having a panic attack. After clumsily getting off the bus, I put Antony's backpack on him, hoisted my handbag onto my shoulder, picked up my suitcase and held on to Antony's hand. "Stay by Mommy now, okay?" I told him, he merely nodded in reply.

The lines for both check-in and security were relatively short, meaning our wait in the departure lounge would be at least an hour. I passed some of the time by standing by the glass windows with Antony, watching the airplanes taking off and landing, and dreading the fact that very, very soon, I'd be on one.

I made sure to buy 2 bottles of water before our flight was called, drinks on flights were usually overpriced, and I wasn't planning on spending anything over a dollar in the next 5 or so hours. Finally, after a wait that I was sure lasted a week and not an hour- our flight was called.

"You excited baby?" I asked Antony as we stood, waiting for the air hostess to check our tickets.

"Yes! We get to go on a plane!" He squealed.

"I know sweetheart, you know what?"

"What?"

"You go so high up, that the clouds are underneath you."

The look of amazement on his face was so cute, but before I had chance to tell him anything else, we were walking down the claustrophobic tunnel that lead to the plane.

Antony continued to gaze round in amazement as we boarded the plane and made our way to our seats. Typically, we were on the very back row, with a window seat and the middle chair, I told Antony to sit by the window, that way whoever was to sit in the seat next to us would possibly be less annoyed. As I busied myself, strapping Antony into the seat belt and putting my carry on underneath the seat in front of me, I felt somebody take a seat next to me. I looking round, taking a sneaky glance at my neighbor and froze.

"Mike Newton!" The sound escaped my lips in an uncontrollable gasp, of all the people that could have sat next to me, I never in a million years would've expected it to be my high school prom date. Ever.

"Bella, Bella Swan?" He questioned, as if he didn't quite believe it either. "Oh my god, Bella, how've you been? God, I haven't seen you since you left for college. When was that, like eight years ago?"

"Yeah, I've been you know, getting by. How bout you?" I replied, trying to gauge what to say when he asked what id done since graduating.

"I've been great, thanks for asking. I got a degree in architecture, can you believe it?" He said, the same smile id seen all those years ago, waiting at the bottom of my stairs flashed across his face.

"Wow, that's great Mike." I said sincerely, architecture, seriously, I'd have thought mike would have studied like, physical fitness. How come everyone elses lives were going brilliantly but mine.

"So Bella, what about you? What'd you major in?" He asked. I gulped.

"Haven't you heard?" He looked blankly at me. "So, I dropped out of college in my second year, because I was pregnant, I barely get any financial support from the government, I just got fired from my crappy job at Wal-Mart and am starting a job as a coffee-fetching assistant for some company big-shot in like 2 weeks time."

"Woah, Bella. Are you okay?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

I took a deep breath, feeling the pain flooding my face, I replied. "No, not really Mike. But thanks for asking. Being broke sucks."

Mike looked at me solemnly. "Bella, if your broke, then why are you on a plane to Seattle?"

"Well, you know, if my Dad wont help my with my rent then he can at least look after his grandson for a while, right? If I know Charlie as well as I used to, he wont be able to leave a six year old kid on the streets of Forks over night." It felt good to reveal my scheming plan to someone. I don't have many friends, the only person who knew I was here was my landlady, and she didn't really care where I was going as long as I paid the rent.

"Wow Bella, when did you such a bad-ass?" Mike asked jokily.

I looked over at Antony before replying. "I really don't know."

"Mommy, the plane is moving!" Antony squealed from next to me, he'd been so quiet since we had boarded that I'd almost forgotten he was there.

"That's cos we're about to take off now sweetie." I told him as he continued to gaze out of the tiny window. I turned to face Mike once more.

"So, that your kid?" He asked, nodding towards Antony.

"Yep." I replied curtly.

"Where's his dad?" Mike asked with genuine interest.

"I left him. Six years ago." I told him, spitting the sentences out as fast as possible.

Then Mike asked the question that everyone always asks me, but never really understands the answer to,"Why?"

"Well, we just didn't work." I took a breath. "We were a one night stand but he just wouldn't leave me alone, and then I found out I was pregnant and he started talking about marriage; and I just remember thinking 'this isn't where I want my life to go', so, I just upped and left."

I turned to Mike, wanting to gauge his reaction; and what then came out of his mouth was the last thing I'd ever have expected - "I understand."

After that, our conversation hit no more awkward patches, and I found myself relaxing in Mike's presence. In many ways he was still the Mike I knew in high school, my last link to the old me. I mad sure to get his digits, so that we could meet up for coffee in Forks. The flight passed pretty quickly, Antony fell asleep about an hour in, and didn't wake up until the plane had touched down in Seattle.

Just as we were leaving the plane Mike turned to me and asked, "Hey Bella, how you getting from Seattle to Forks?"

I turned to him, "I was gonna get a bus in the morning, why?"

"Well, I'm going that way, and I know that you aren't exactly rolling in money at the moment so, you want a lift to Charlie's?" He replied, a familiar puppy-like smile flashing across his face.

"Really, Mike, that would be great, oh my god, thank you." I said, controlling my urge to hug him.

"It's no problem Bella, seriously. Besides, after what happened at senior prom, I kinda owe you." He admitted.

I laughed. He did owe me.

We got through baggage claim pretty quickly and before I knew it, were sitting in Mike's car, speeding towards Forks. At some point during the journey I fell asleep and the next thing I knew we were just outside the Forks city limits.

"Hey Bella, your awake." Mike exclaimed as I looked round the car's interior yawning.

"Morning." I joked as I turned in my seat to glance at Antony, who, after his nap on the plane was still wide awake. "Hey baby, you been good for Mike while momma's been asleep?" I asked him.

He nodded "Yes mommy. We went on a boat, in the car, it was soo cool!"

"We did, guess I really was sleepy." I replied, turning back round as I noticed just how familiar the scenery around me was becoming.

The car turned one last corner, and I saw a building that hadn't changed, despite the fact that so many years had passed since I last stepped through its door.

"Well Mike, thanks again for the lift." I smiled at him, "I seriously am in your debt now."

"No Bella, it's no sweat, you want me to wait here just in case your plan doesn't quite go, to plan?" He offered.

"No thanks Mike, I'm pretty sure I got this." I flashed him one last smile and stepped out of the car, getting both my suitcase and son out of the back seat as I did. After shutting the door, I waved at Mike as he drove slowly down the street before taking hold of Antony's hand, and walking to Charlie's front door. _This is it Bella,_ I told myself, _no turning back now._


	5. Chapter 5

Ode to My Family – Chapter 5

My body shook with fear as I waited for Charlie to open the front door, I tightened my grip on Antony's hand and looked down at him as I heard the tell-tale clicking of the latch.

The door swung open to reveal my dad- dressed in the same sweatpants and t-shirt that he always changed into when returning home from work- with a look of pure shock on his age worn face. "B...Bella?" he said, exhaling loudly.  
"Hey Dad." I replied, hiding by fear of being turned away with a small smile. Charlie smiled back, then glanced at my left hand. I followed his gaze as he took in Antony's appearance, his smile growing bigger still.  
Antony pulled his hand away from my grasp, "Grandpa Charlie!" he squealed as he ran forwards, wrapping his arms round Charlie's waist as best he could.  
"Hey kiddo," Charlie said as his arms wrapped around Antony's small frame "Come on in Bella." He said to me as he picked Antony up and carried him into the living room. I grabbed my suitcase and follow him, shutting the front door behind me.

Charlie's living room, much like the exterior of the house and Charlie himself, hadn't changed at all. Everything in here was the same, right down to my school photo's in frames on all the surfaces of the room, even the old brown suede couch was still here, as warm and inviting as ever. I placed my suitcase and purse on the floor and sank slowly into the sofas many cushions.

"Bella," my dad said to me as he put Antony down on the sofa next to me, and took a seat on the armchair next to me, "what are you doing here?"  
I gulped. "Well... I'm not gonna lie here dad, I'm flat broke, I cant even afford to eat lunch any more, and I had to take out a loan to fly here and talk to you. I have I new job, but I wont get a pay check till the end of next month and my rent is due really soon and I have bills to pay and I really don't wanna lose my apartment cos they'll take Antony away from me, and I cannot let them do that!" I said, as fast as I possibly could and some how managing not to stutter at all. I looked over at my Dad, the look of guilt on his face was almost unbelievable, almost.  
"Gee Bells, I'm sorry. I guess this happening was kind of inevitable. Shutting you out like that, you have to understand. It seemed like the right thing to do." He replied, taking a deep but shaky breath after finishing his last sentence.  
"Uh, Dad." I said glancing down to where Antony sat, his eyes whirling around the room.  
"Oh yeah," He replied after catching what I meant. "Go and put him in your old room, it's just how you left it."

I smiled and picked up my bags. "Antony, come upstairs and you can play in Mommy's old bedroom." I told him.  
Antony jumped up "Are there toys in there mommy?" He asked with an excited smile.  
"No honey." I replied, "But you brought some toys with you, why don't you play with those instead?" Antony had bounded up the cramped staircase before I could even check if he'd been listening to me, I followed after him as fast as I could.  
"Which door is it?" He asked me as I was reaching the last few steps.  
"The one on the left sweetie."

When we got inside the room I placed my bag at the foot of the bed, Antony followed suit with his backpack, and then jumped up onto the bed excitedly.  
"Now baby," I looked him straight in the eye, "you stay up here okay? The bathroom is the door on the other side of the stairs. Mommy's gotta go and talk to Grandpa Charlie about grown up things. Will you be okay?"  
"Yes Mommy." He said as he began rummaging in his rucksack for his toys.

I headed back downstairs, Charlie was sitting on the couch with a beer in each hand.  
"Is he okay Bella?" He asked as I lowered myself into the soft couch.  
"Yeah, he's good," I replied "Can we please talk now?" I asked him.  
"Sure." He nodded, passing me a can. "So, why are you here Bella? Do you need money?" Charlie asked, setting his face into that of a police chief, as if he were pulling on a mask.  
"Well ermm, kinda." I replied, trying not to look my Dad in the eye, my embarrassment written all over my face.  
"Kinda? Bella it's either yes or no. You either need money or you don't. Simple." He snapped.  
"Fine then, I do. I need money- to any normal person it's not that much money- but I need it." I said.  
Charlie gazed sternly at me, setting his beer on the floor. "How much do you need Bella?"  
"Five hundred dollars."  
"What for?" He questioned, the expression on his face unchanging.  
"Rent, bills, repayment on the loan I had to take out a couple of months ago. Normally I'd be okay, but I wont see a paycheck from my new job until the middle of next month at least." I told him truthfully.

"How much do you have in your bank account?" Charlie's faced now held a rather concerned look.  
"Dad, that's a bit of a personal question!" I cried as I placed my beer on the coffee table in front of me.  
"Cut the crap Bella. Do you want me to help you or not? Just answer the question."  
I gulped in a breath of air and answered "20 dollars." as I looked intently at the floor.  
"20 dollars! You expect to look after your self and your six year old son for a month with 20 dollars." He shouted.  
"I have before! But I had paychecks on the way then."

Charlie looked at me, his face softening with every passing second, "Why didn't you ask for help before?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"Because you hate me." I told him, my gaze still fixed firmly at my shoes.  
Charlie's face sunk, hurt flashing across his features. "Bells, look at me," he whispered "I have never hated you."  
I felt tears begin to flood to my eyes. "Then why didn't you answer my calls? Why didn't you come and see me?" I all but shouted at him as fat tears began to roll down my cheeks.  
"I...I was disappointed in you Bella. Fuck, what father wouldn't have been. Getting pregnant in college, did your mother and I teach you nothing? And then you left that boy you were with, Antony's farther, and I didn't know what to think. By the time I realized just what I was missing out on you were gone. No one knew where you were." Charlie was on the brink of tear now. "Even when you asked me to send you the rocking chair, you didn't give an address, just a P.O box."  
"I'm sorry Dad." Really I was, I hadn't realized that in all my pain and struggling, my dad had been hurting as well. _Great _my inner monologue told me _now your a crappy daughter __and__mother._ I slid closer to Charlie. "I thought you hated me."  
Charlie pulled me into a hug, "Bells," he whispered into my hair. "I could never hate you. Thank you for coming home."

My tears overtook me, an age seemed to pass before Charlie asked, "How long do you want to stay here Bells?"  
"10 days, if that's alright with you." I replied through puffy eyes.  
I saw Charlie smile out of the corner of my eye. "That's fine Bells, don't you worry."  
I smiled back and sipped the last few drops of my beer.

"It's getting late Bells, you want me to get you the spare mattress out?" My dad asked, getting up from the couch and taking my can from my hand.  
"No it's fine Dad. We can get it tomorrow, I'll just put some blankets on the floor tonight, I'm really tired."  
"Kay Bells, see you in the morning." My dad said as he started towards the kitchen.  
I stood slowly, "Night Dad." I called as I headed out the room.

When I entered my room, Antony was sitting cross-legged on the mat playing with an action figure.  
"Time to get ready for bed now sweetie," I said as I took his pajamas out of his bag. "Put your toys away now."  
"Okay Mommy." He said, putting the action figure in his bag and pulling his pajamas towards him.

I went to the airing cupboard and got out a sleeping bag, pillow and duvet, it wouldn't be 100% comfortable, but it was better than trying to share a single bed with Antony. I walked back into the room, and arranged my bedding on the floor, spreading out in the miniscule section of floor spare that my tiny bedroom held.  
"Lets go brush our teeth." I said to Antony when he had his pajamas on, I grabbing our toothbrushes from our bags and ushering him towards the bathroom.

The rest of the evening passed in a similar fashion, the last I was aware of was my head hitting the pillow.

The next two days at my Dad's passed in a blur, Dad took the week off work, and we took Antony to First beach, to clamber about in the rock pools and play football with Dad. Yesterday we spent the day in Port Angeles, it was raining so we spent most of the day indoors. I felt bad, Dad insisted on paying for everything: bowling, movie tickets, popcorn, dinner. He told me not to worry about it, that 'I know you'd pay if you could Bells' and 'this is me making up for all the Christmas' and birthdays I've missed'; but this just made me feel worse. _One day I'll pay him back _I told myself, I just didn't know when that day would be.

Today Dad had taken Antony fishing with Billy and himself, I stayed at home; if I was there – knowing my luck – I'd end up getting tangled in the fishing line, falling in the river and waking up with amnesia. So, I stayed at home. I had spent the morning cleaning the downstairs of the home and was just readying myself for a trip to the grocery store when my cellphone started to ring.

"Hello?" I answered as I took the spare change jar out of one of the kitchen cupboards.  
"Miss Swan. Hi there, it's Charlotte from Evolutionary Marketing here, I'm calling to inform you that you are required to start work tomorrow morning at 8am, and not next Monday as was previously arranged." The voice on the other end spoke quickly, an air of panic evident in their voice. _Tomorrow! _My head was screaming _How can I possibly be back in New York by tomorrow?  
_"Miss Swan, are you there?"  
"Yes, sorry. It's just, I'm in Washington State right now, how am I going to get back to New York by tomorrow?" I said, visibly distressed.  
"I'm afraid Miss Swan you're just gonna have to work that out yourself. I can personally recommend American Airlines for good late deals."  
"Thanks. Do you know why I am so desperately required tomorrow and not on Monday?" I asked.  
"Strictly speaking I'm not allowed to disclose that information." Charlotte said, her voice then dropping to a whisper as she then told me, "We lost a really important deal with a huge manufacturer to a rival company. It's pandemonium here right now, we need all the help we can get."  
"Thank you." I told her sincerely, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." I mumbled, still doubtful that I'd be able to get back by then.  
"See you." Charlotte said before I heard her hang up. She seemed nice, and now I'd have one less person to meet at work.

I typed my Dad's number into the phone hurriedly and waited anxiously for him to pick up.  
"Hey Bells, what's up?" he answered my cheerily, clearly oblivious as to why I was calling.  
"Dad, I have to to go. The company wants me to start work tomorrow. I have to book tickets to fly home tonight. Oh god, I don't have anyone to look after Antony. And where am I gonna find 2 tickets of a flight to New York tonight?" I was panicking, no, I was way beyond panicking.  
"Bella, calm down. We're coming home, we'll talk about it went we get back. Pour yourself a coffee and go and watch the flat screen. See you in 30 minuets." Charlie told me, I could hear him slowly gathering together his things already.  
"Kay Dad, bye." I told him, not waiting for him to say goodbye before I ended the call.

45 minutes later I was sitting on the sofa, coffee in hand, just as my Dad had instructed me.  
"Your late." I half shouted as he stepped through the front door.  
"Sorry Bella, we got stuck behind a logging truck, couldn't get past. I'll just go put our stuff in the garage, then we can talk." He said, walking straight back outside. I drew in a shaky breath and waited for him to return.

Dad was back pretty quickly, he sat down opposite me on the sofa and said "I have an idea Bella."  
"What?" I asked, hoping he'd hurry so I could call an airline.  
"Why don't you leave Antony here with me, not for ever, just until Christmas, you'll be back on your feet by then, and you guys can spend the holidays here, then you can take Antony back home. This way you can get on with your new job, and get back on track, without having to worry about him. What do you say Bella?" He said, gazing hopefully up at me.  
I was, shocked to say the least. "Really dad, you'd do that for me?" I questioned.  
"You bet, Forks Elementary could do with a few more pupils." He joked.  
"Oh Dad," I leaned over and hugged him "That would be fantastic!"  
Dad just smiled back at me, his smile sticking to his cheeks long after I pulled out of our hug. "I'm gonna go call the airline now."

By some strange yet wonderful miracle I had found a spare seat on the red eye to New York, and, because I had just switched the date of my previous booking and canceled Antony's ticket, I hadn't had to pay for it. As soon as my ticket was booked I was upstairs gathering my things, I was out of the house and in the cruiser with Dad and Antony in less the half an hour. We had explained our plan to Antony during the drive, he hadn't been to keen, he's never been away from me for more than an evening, but we managed to convince him that he'd be okay- it'll only be til Christmas and he can call me anytime of the day.

In what seemed like no time at all we were pulling into the airport in Seattle, our goodbyes were said in the car, I kept them brief, I needed to run to find my gate and get through security.  
"Bye Dad, thanks for everything." I muttered to my dad, then turned to Antony, who had fallen asleep in the back of the car, I kissed his forehead and whispered, "I love you baby, be good for Grandpa.". I then jumped out of the car, grabbed my bag, and headed for the airport.

My gate was easy to find, as it was one of the last few that were open, I didn't bother checking in my bag, I needed to be out of JFK as swiftly as possible. Checking in and getting through security seemed to take an eternity, I could feel my energy slowly depleting as I stood there. Finally, I made it through security just as my flight was being called and rushed to join my last line of the evening, eager to find my seat and get as much sleep as possible. My flight would be landing in New York at a little before 5am, giving me enough time to run back to my apartment, shower, change and head to Manhattan for my first day of 'office work'.

I settled into my seat, after placing my bag in the overhead locker, the next thing I remembered we were touching down in New York.

Stepping through the doors of my new place of work at 7:45 that morning my nerves hit me like a freight train. I'd never had this kind of job before, I was severely out of my comfort zone. I lingered momentarily underneath the air vent above the door while I gathered the courage to approach the reception desk.

The receptionist from the day of my interview was no where in sight, I approached instead a plain looking woman with an expression of pure boredom on her face.  
"Err, hi, my name's Isabella Swan, I believe you have a swipe card waiting for me." I stated, trying to appear confident.  
"Ah yes Miss Swan. Here's your card. You swipe in over there just in front of the elevators." She pulled out a plastic case with the building address written on it. "There's a spare in this pack in case your card get lost or damaged. If you ever need to access the building between 11pm and 5am then please use the back entrance, the code for the door is in there. Call back here if you ever need any help in the future." And with that she returned to whatever it was she had been doing before I had arrived. I mumbled a quick 'thanks' before walking towards the barriers and swiping in, catching the next elevator to the 7th floor of the vast building.

Trapped in the small metallic confines of the elevator my nerves increased tenfold. My fingers grasped hard onto the handrail, willing for emotional support that a metal bar could not supply as I forced my mind not to dwell upon the what if's. All too soon the elevator pinged its arrival on the 7th floor, and I stepped out into the bedlam that was my new place of work.

While the reception area was relatively quiet, the office floor- which was clearly visible through the thin glass wall – was anything but. My eyes scanned the eons of people working at such a frantic pace that they could have been on fast forward, while my feet took tentative steps towards the desk.  
"How can I help?" asked the receptionist, her eyes not leaving the paper she was writing on.  
"Hi, Isabella Swan, we spoke on the phone yesterday?" I asked, hoping that this was indeed the same person.  
"Oh thank god you're here!" She exclaimed as she jumped up from her seat, "With all the panic round here I've been doing your job as well as mine."  
I half smiled at her, "It's no problem."  
"Right," she said, grabbing a file off her desk and walking round to greet me, "I'll give you a quick tour then I'll show you where you'll be working and get you started" She walked towards the entrance to the office floor and motioned for me to follow, I stumbled after her, catching one foot on the other but somehow saving myself from falling flat on my face.  
"Careful Isabella, we don't need a lawsuit on your first day."  
I blushed, my cheeks flaring with embarrassment, "Don't worry, lets get to work."

After being whisked through the office at breakneck speed, we reached a small empty desk in the secluded area just across from the main copy room.  
"Right," Charlotte said "here's where you'll be working, please take a seat." I sat quickly on the battered swivel chair provided. "You'll be doing standard data entry 9-4 Monday through Friday. You'll be given handwritten reports and expected to simply type them up, correcting any spelling mistakes. All pages must be stapled together, and copies made of everything unless otherwise stated. Pending work will be placed in the blue tray for your completion, completed documents will be placed in the red. Don't worry about taking the work to the departments, someone will be by hourly to collect any work and distribute it accordingly. You have thirty minutes for lunch and a five minute break every two hours. This file contains your log in details, salary details and company policies for things like holiday. I'm sorry this was so rushed, but I really have to get back to my desk. Have a nice first day, I'm extension 247 if you need anything." She smiled lightly at me.  
"Thanks Charlotte, I guess I'll see you later." I replied, waiting for her to leave before turning to the file she had given me and starting work.

The work dragged on, who knew that data entry could be so monotonous? By one thirty I was more than ready to begin my lunch break. From the map of the building I could see that the nearest dining hall was down on the 5th floor, with thirty minutes I doubted I'd have enough time to leave the building, find a place to eat and return. I grabbed my hand bag and headed towards the elevators.

The level of chaos the employees were working at seemed to have not dimmed in the hours I had been sat working at my desk, the frantic murmur of voices, shuffling of paper and tapping of computer keys filled my ears as I walked towards the reception area. I was glad for the busyness of the work force, as no one really had the time to notice the shabbily dressed new girl as she walked by to begin her lunch break. I wasn't all that comfortable with being the center of attention.

Reaching the reception, Charlotte was not at her desk, so I pushed for the elevator, my foot lightly tapping to an imaginary beat. After what seemed like an eternity I heard the familiar ping of the elevator and watched the doors slowly open. The sight I was faced with caused my heart rate to increase rapidly, my eyes to flare wide open, and my stomach to contract, giving me the feeling of being punched in the gut. I had hoped never to see him again, no, I had expected it.

"Bella?" I heard him exclaim as I watched the elevator doors slide to a close, trapping Edward behind them.

* * *

Yes yes yes, hugely ridiculous wait. I am sorry, but I did have GCSE's to pass, hopefully I did.

I will update again, eventually... I feel its just gotten a tiny bit interesting.

tatty bye,  
Livie


End file.
